How To Achieve Person Development: Self Confidence.
This is another series I have decided to work on; how to achieve personal development.
There are actually several ways by which personal development can be attained, but there are some things you must understand. First, I may use the words "achieve" and "attain", but make no mistake... it is not a destination. It is a continuous process (see A Truth About Life: Life Has No Destinations. It Is An Eternal Journey); an eternal process. Second, it is worth embarking on, regardless of the pain you feel you may encounter. Third, no one can do it for you; there is a reason it's called "personal" development.
Today, we will be discussing one of the ways to "achieve" personal development. Self confidence. Self confidence is basically admitting, or knowing, or making yourself believe that something is attainable (that ANYTHING is attainable) if you reach or go for it. And don't get me wrong... reaching or going for something isn't just wishing for it or dreaming of it all day; you have to go out there and do something to get it. What I'm saying is, after you "plan out", "go out" to do whatever you feel you need to do to achieve what you set out to achieve, and you must believe that that is achievable, and achievable by you! Simple, isn't it?
Isn't it?
In this blog, I will try to fulfill some objectives to trash this topic out the best way my coconut head can (lol). I want you to know that no one is the encyclopaedia of all knowledge, and so, it is important that I state here thats all I will talk about in this series of achieving self development is based on my personal experiences, that of people close to me, and my overall personal point of view. I am not good at talking textbook, so I am just going to drop it down as best I know how to.
The objectives for this topic are:
1. The significance of self confidence;
2. Ways in which you can achieve and maintain self confidence in all your endeavours.
So, what's the significance of self confidence in the achievement of personal development? Simply put (from my point of view), self confidence is a first step to anything, really. You have to first know that you can do something before you go and do it, especially if you want to succeed in it. In some tasks, half % of self-confidence could suffice, but in some, you may need up to about 99% to 100% (or 1000%, if such a thing exists). Self confidence is like faith; faith that you can achieve that which you have set out to achieve.
I learnt a hard lesson in self confidence (several times actually). Please, allow me to share an experience here. After I graduated from secondary school, I wasn't fortunate enough to go straight to university with just one seat of a very challenging exam called UTME (Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination). I lost 4 years at home because of this exam, but don't get me wrong, I didn't "fail" it, my exam centres got cancelled all together every time (not sure why, really!). My parents then enrolled me in a program (a sort of preliminary program) in a polytechnic to help me bypass the UTME and go straight to university starting from the second year rather than the first. Sounds great, right? But, I was so scared! I allowed my ears to be filled with negative ideas about the program. People kept telling me how hard the exam was and that so many people fail it every year. I got scared, and felt that there was no point in attending classes if I would only end up failing the exam. So, any class I managed to attend felt like a waste to me because I couldn't even pay attention.
First, I was scared of failing; second, I didn't see the point in attending classes; third, i made bad and regardless friends who just didn't really care about the program either. And guess what happened in the end... I failed!
No surprise there!
You know... It was when it happened (the failure) that it dawned on me what I had allowed myself to do. So, after my parents forgave me (about a year later) they enrolled me in another program to enable me get a direct entry into the university of Port Harcourt, called "Basic". I went in guns blazing this time, with self confidence. I told myself that nothing is hard until I say it is; I told myself that no wall was impenetrable until I decided it was; I convinced myself that I could do anything, and "this" I could do... This Basic program, I shall conquer! So, I paid no heed to naysayers, and only made friends who had the same vision as I did. And what do you know... This time... I made it! And I didn't only make it, I knocked it out the park!
Self confidence is believing in yourself. The whole world may or may not be leaving you, but the major person you need on your side is yourself. I mean... of course you need God... but, as far as human beings go, you need yourself. So, we begin this series on achieving personal development with self confidence for obvious reasons. You can also think of it this way... have you ever noticed the difference between praying with faith and praying without faith? When you pray with faith, you see how the high level of confidence makes you see the hand of God in everything, moving in a direction to help you achieve your goal. That vision alone moves mountains; and part of the reason it does is because you play an active role in your belief mentally (by looking out for, and appreciating every single positive step you see, and sometimes even appreciating it before you see it), physically (by doing your best and making moves wherever you see possible because you believe that God is by your side).
Have I made sense?
So, how can you achieve and maintain self confidence in your endeavours? Here are some techniques you can try:
1. The 15 times exercise,
2. Imaginative technique,
3. Mental detox and mental diet.
The 15 times exercise is simple. You imagine what you want and declare it as if you already have it. You do this in writing for 15 times daily. An example is... Say you want to be a successful entrepreneur, you write for 15 times every day, "I am a successful entrepreneur". It is a sort of mental conditioning to tune up your subconscious to see that which you want as already manifested, and it builds your self confidence.
The imaginative technique is another way of boosting your self confidence. You can try imagining what you want, and as you do, you feel it as a reality. You feel it so much that you can taste it, smell it... (Can you smell that samosa and bean pudding? Lol. That's the spirit!). I'll tell you what... You haven't lived until you've tried the imaginative technique in achieving anything. The imaginative technique works by visualisation (which is the start point), and then inducing that feeling, and all the sensations attached to that which you have visualised. For some, self confidence only comes when they have a sense of existing achievement of the goal pursued; for such people, the visualisation technique could work great. What I do is sing a charge/positive mantra, or any word that makes me feel relaxed or happy (it could be the name of a pet, lover, parents, siblings, friend, God, Jesus, Allah... anything really, even your own name); usually, i use the word "HU" (pronounced H-I-U, or Hue, which I believe to be an ancient name for God), but not all the time, just most times. After singing the mantra (or as I sing the mantra) I visualise what I want, the feeling I want (self confidence), the boost I need, and I keep this up until I achieve it. Sometimes, its just takes about 5 minutes, sometimes 30 minutes (mostly depending on my current mood or self esteem), but I always get there!
The mental detox and mental diet mainly involves you purging yourself of thought processes, and words, and environments which discourage your goal of achieving self confidence (or lower your self esteem or confidence). These techniques given in this blog can work for virtually anything really, so don't be surprised to see them in another blog here on Uvelopin (which is You Developing, lol), and abroad.
The metal detox precedes the mental diet. After you have purged yourself of self-defeating inputs from your environment, friends, family, television, books, e.t.c., you then make it a point to consciously create the stronger and more positive you by creating a mental diet. The mental diet is simple... The first two techniques given above are methods with which you create a mental diet. The most effective way (which I have found works great for me) is to set up a time of the day (or night) when I know I won't be disturbed to practice either of the first two techniques given above (the 15 times exercise and imaginative technique... especially the imaginative technique). Keeping a schedule like that promotes discipline, and I found that discipline (and steadfastness) in any endeavour makes it successful.
Need I say more? Or do you just like reading me write?
So... Do you consider yourself a confident person? What do you do to promote self confidence in your life and that of the people around you? Do you like samosa and bean pudding? Feel free to air your thoughts.
I love you. Till next week.
There are actually several ways by which personal development can be attained, but there are some things you must understand. First, I may use the words "achieve" and "attain", but make no mistake... it is not a destination. It is a continuous process (see A Truth About Life: Life Has No Destinations. It Is An Eternal Journey); an eternal process. Second, it is worth embarking on, regardless of the pain you feel you may encounter. Third, no one can do it for you; there is a reason it's called "personal" development.
Today, we will be discussing one of the ways to "achieve" personal development. Self confidence. Self confidence is basically admitting, or knowing, or making yourself believe that something is attainable (that ANYTHING is attainable) if you reach or go for it. And don't get me wrong... reaching or going for something isn't just wishing for it or dreaming of it all day; you have to go out there and do something to get it. What I'm saying is, after you "plan out", "go out" to do whatever you feel you need to do to achieve what you set out to achieve, and you must believe that that is achievable, and achievable by you! Simple, isn't it?
Isn't it?
In this blog, I will try to fulfill some objectives to trash this topic out the best way my coconut head can (lol). I want you to know that no one is the encyclopaedia of all knowledge, and so, it is important that I state here thats all I will talk about in this series of achieving self development is based on my personal experiences, that of people close to me, and my overall personal point of view. I am not good at talking textbook, so I am just going to drop it down as best I know how to.
The objectives for this topic are:
1. The significance of self confidence;
2. Ways in which you can achieve and maintain self confidence in all your endeavours.
So, what's the significance of self confidence in the achievement of personal development? Simply put (from my point of view), self confidence is a first step to anything, really. You have to first know that you can do something before you go and do it, especially if you want to succeed in it. In some tasks, half % of self-confidence could suffice, but in some, you may need up to about 99% to 100% (or 1000%, if such a thing exists). Self confidence is like faith; faith that you can achieve that which you have set out to achieve.
I learnt a hard lesson in self confidence (several times actually). Please, allow me to share an experience here. After I graduated from secondary school, I wasn't fortunate enough to go straight to university with just one seat of a very challenging exam called UTME (Unified Tertiary Matriculation Examination). I lost 4 years at home because of this exam, but don't get me wrong, I didn't "fail" it, my exam centres got cancelled all together every time (not sure why, really!). My parents then enrolled me in a program (a sort of preliminary program) in a polytechnic to help me bypass the UTME and go straight to university starting from the second year rather than the first. Sounds great, right? But, I was so scared! I allowed my ears to be filled with negative ideas about the program. People kept telling me how hard the exam was and that so many people fail it every year. I got scared, and felt that there was no point in attending classes if I would only end up failing the exam. So, any class I managed to attend felt like a waste to me because I couldn't even pay attention.
First, I was scared of failing; second, I didn't see the point in attending classes; third, i made bad and regardless friends who just didn't really care about the program either. And guess what happened in the end... I failed!
No surprise there!
You know... It was when it happened (the failure) that it dawned on me what I had allowed myself to do. So, after my parents forgave me (about a year later) they enrolled me in another program to enable me get a direct entry into the university of Port Harcourt, called "Basic". I went in guns blazing this time, with self confidence. I told myself that nothing is hard until I say it is; I told myself that no wall was impenetrable until I decided it was; I convinced myself that I could do anything, and "this" I could do... This Basic program, I shall conquer! So, I paid no heed to naysayers, and only made friends who had the same vision as I did. And what do you know... This time... I made it! And I didn't only make it, I knocked it out the park!
Self confidence is believing in yourself. The whole world may or may not be leaving you, but the major person you need on your side is yourself. I mean... of course you need God... but, as far as human beings go, you need yourself. So, we begin this series on achieving personal development with self confidence for obvious reasons. You can also think of it this way... have you ever noticed the difference between praying with faith and praying without faith? When you pray with faith, you see how the high level of confidence makes you see the hand of God in everything, moving in a direction to help you achieve your goal. That vision alone moves mountains; and part of the reason it does is because you play an active role in your belief mentally (by looking out for, and appreciating every single positive step you see, and sometimes even appreciating it before you see it), physically (by doing your best and making moves wherever you see possible because you believe that God is by your side).
Have I made sense?
So, how can you achieve and maintain self confidence in your endeavours? Here are some techniques you can try:
1. The 15 times exercise,
2. Imaginative technique,
3. Mental detox and mental diet.
The 15 times exercise is simple. You imagine what you want and declare it as if you already have it. You do this in writing for 15 times daily. An example is... Say you want to be a successful entrepreneur, you write for 15 times every day, "I am a successful entrepreneur". It is a sort of mental conditioning to tune up your subconscious to see that which you want as already manifested, and it builds your self confidence.
The imaginative technique is another way of boosting your self confidence. You can try imagining what you want, and as you do, you feel it as a reality. You feel it so much that you can taste it, smell it... (Can you smell that samosa and bean pudding? Lol. That's the spirit!). I'll tell you what... You haven't lived until you've tried the imaginative technique in achieving anything. The imaginative technique works by visualisation (which is the start point), and then inducing that feeling, and all the sensations attached to that which you have visualised. For some, self confidence only comes when they have a sense of existing achievement of the goal pursued; for such people, the visualisation technique could work great. What I do is sing a charge/positive mantra, or any word that makes me feel relaxed or happy (it could be the name of a pet, lover, parents, siblings, friend, God, Jesus, Allah... anything really, even your own name); usually, i use the word "HU" (pronounced H-I-U, or Hue, which I believe to be an ancient name for God), but not all the time, just most times. After singing the mantra (or as I sing the mantra) I visualise what I want, the feeling I want (self confidence), the boost I need, and I keep this up until I achieve it. Sometimes, its just takes about 5 minutes, sometimes 30 minutes (mostly depending on my current mood or self esteem), but I always get there!
The mental detox and mental diet mainly involves you purging yourself of thought processes, and words, and environments which discourage your goal of achieving self confidence (or lower your self esteem or confidence). These techniques given in this blog can work for virtually anything really, so don't be surprised to see them in another blog here on Uvelopin (which is You Developing, lol), and abroad.
The metal detox precedes the mental diet. After you have purged yourself of self-defeating inputs from your environment, friends, family, television, books, e.t.c., you then make it a point to consciously create the stronger and more positive you by creating a mental diet. The mental diet is simple... The first two techniques given above are methods with which you create a mental diet. The most effective way (which I have found works great for me) is to set up a time of the day (or night) when I know I won't be disturbed to practice either of the first two techniques given above (the 15 times exercise and imaginative technique... especially the imaginative technique). Keeping a schedule like that promotes discipline, and I found that discipline (and steadfastness) in any endeavour makes it successful.
Need I say more? Or do you just like reading me write?
So... Do you consider yourself a confident person? What do you do to promote self confidence in your life and that of the people around you? Do you like samosa and bean pudding? Feel free to air your thoughts.
I love you. Till next week.
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